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…no really.

What a fucking weekend!!! I don’t even know where to begin really. We’ve been planning on kidnapping Jackie for a few months now. It’s hard to believe the day has come and gone already.

That afternoon was the start of a road trip sort of weekend. Something definitely worth Drive And A Half credit.

Bryce got out of work early and we quickly grabbed my bag and camera, heading out to Lot 6 in the beautiful weather to get in the car for an hour of bliss.

There is nothing like cruising down that highway, wind and music blending until you’re half-deaf from the ecstasy of it all, hair whipping your face until you see life in frames, like an old home movie on a projector in a dark basement. Now all that’s missing is the black and white. And even with that statement I have to say, life is best in color.

The windows down, the sun roof open, a smile you just can’t resist, until your face is aching from the beauty of it all.

The soft hum of the engine and the shocks as the bumps in the road disappear too fast to notice.

The sun on your face.

The mix of hot and cold as the February air beats your face and the heat in the car counters it, turned all the way up to keep your body from going any more numb than it already is.

If you ever get the chance to go road tripping without any sort of destination, I highly recommend it. There is nothing that can make you feel more alive.

Of course, no ride ever goes as smoothly as that, and it’s the little adventures that I so savor. Flirting with mortality and chance. An adrenaline rush so powerful that all you can do is take a deep breath and watch. There isn’t even time to move.

When I looked up the directions to Jackie’s house I actually called Bryce to let him know what awaited us. all the roads we took to get towards Canada were Mapquested for us. 95 South, 1 South, Penna-pike, 276, 476…

It was much easier this time and we managed not to fuck up on the way there. The Allentown exit now haunts my dreams.

Of course we nearly died on the way there. This time I really thought we wouldn’t make it. I downright froze. Bryce locked his eyes on the road, hand on the shifter, as the cars in front of us nearly destroyed everything.

We had been driving steadily behind a silver trail blazer, flowing at about 80 with the rest of traffic. Behind us and to the right was a dump truck and everywhere else was a sea of traffic. The trail blazer was alongside a silver station wagon. They had been going even for so long that we no longer even noticed the wagon.

Suddenly, the driver of the station wagon lost his brain. He shifted suddenly into our lane. I gasped as my mind worked in panic mode and I pictured the collision that would surely result. To my horror, I realized that the wagon STILL hadn’t realized that there was a car beside him. The trail blazer somehow dodged to the side, but was far from clear. I could just picture, in slow motion and no sound, the trail blazer slamming into the concrete barrier, pieces of metal flying back into us, car spiraling out of control.

There was nowhere for us to go. If the wagon hit the car we would get sucked into a three car pile up. If the blazer hit the barrier he’d take us out with him. If we braked we’d get slammed into from behind and sandwiched. If we veered left we’d ride the barrier. If we veered right… I didn’t even want to picture what Bryce, his car, and I would look like after getting mangled with the dump truck.

This was it.

And that driver in the trail blazer had someone thinking of him at that moment. Somehow, miraculously, he managed to dodge the whole scenario. Left, back, right… he was still driving.

Bryce had downshifted so hard that the car just screamed. I winced at the kick that resulted.

But we made it.

But who wants to have just ONE adventure on any given road trip? Our next thing was reversing up the turnpike. And I don’t mean the shoulder. Haha.

WHAT!?!?!?

Yeah, I know.

We got to a toll booth (we all know how I feel about toll booths). The middle chunk of islands was EZ Pass only (I have to agree with my dad, it’s a conspiracy) and the outside two were EZ Pass/tickets. All of them were purple so that didn’t really get anybody’s attention.

I was alert and watching any and all signs for everything though and I tried to point out to Bryce that the lane we were in was EZ Pass only.

“Ez pass, Bryce, EZ pass… do you have EZ Pass?”
“No, why?”
“Cuz you’re heading for…”
“O shit!!!”

By then it was too late. The hood of the car was between the booths. Bryce glanced over his shoulder, threw the car in reverse and BACKED UP THE TURNPIKE!!! Then, with a screech of tires, he pulled us into the far right lane. You could see people behind us drop back.

Paying the toll itself was also interesting. Bryce being the stereotypical Jew that he is paid in exact change. This meant counting out $2.50 in quarters, dimes, and nickels. I don’t think the dude in the toll booth trusted us.

So we pulled off of 476 onto 63, Summneytown Pike. We had the miles marked and the directions clear.

And then we missed Kriebal. It had been an overpass over the Pike, so we assumed it would at least have a stop light. Nope. Kriebal is a tiny little country road right past a dairy-looking farm. So we had to turn around on the next street. In the process we nearly hit a chocolate lab, a high school aged boy with a big frown on his face, and a bunch of little kids on pink bikes.

It was like a video game.

Called Jackie from Kriebal, went over the overpass and and onto Pheasant Hill.

“Hey, kids, do you know what street this is? Nevermind… just kidding.”

Now to find the house… we were looking for a white one with bricks. Guess what color 90% of the houses on the street were. Ooh, white.

But we found the house, complete with girl, puppy, and ten foot stick.

Parked across the street and left Bryce with Abner, the seeing eye puppy who would be staying with us all weekend. He nearly got dragged down the sidewalk.

Meanwhile, I went inside the house to meet Jackie’s parents. The very first thing her mom said to me was, “Abner will not be going with you today.”

I left absolutely ALL my information with them, right down to Bryce’s number and the address and website of the school. Apparently, her parents had been very reluctant to let her go, but as soon as they met us they decided we seemed like decent, trustworthy people.

Jackie’s dad went out to grab the dog and she flipped out. There was screaming. My parents would have killed me for making that sort of scene.

I waited for a pause and calmly wiggled my way into the conversation. I told her parents that I had cleared Abner’s stay with my school and that the only other places we’d be would be farms, with plenty of dogs anyway. His excitement wouldn’t be a problem and we were looking forward to having him. Jackie is responsible and knows how to care for him. The experience and exposure would be good for the puppy and this was one of his last chances to really get out there. I did that talking thing that I do and built up momentum as I saw their faces softening.

Finally, her mom turned and asked why they should let the puppy go. I saw Jackie bite her lip. “C’mon,” I thought, “go with it…”

Out loud I said, “You are THIS CLOSE to having Abner go…” A pleading tone.
“Yes, you are.”

In the end the dog went.

Of course.

Poor Bryce was going to have a heart attack about his seats.

So we packed into the car and took off.

Nothing like being on the road again.

On the way back to school we stopped at Bluestone. College Park had her foal!!! This one is my favorite thus far!!! A little colt with a friendly attitude and memorable face. He’s got a gigantic asymmetrical star and three white feet. We want to name him College Party.

From Bluestone we went to Taco Bell because Bryce and I were absolutely famished. Jackie gets real food on a daily basis so she did not yet have the urge to eat. At least Ab got to come in.

We got back to campus and let the dog get used to being on the floor. Playing with him in the hall was oodles of fun, and he was so incredibly obedient. I let him have that tennis ball I stole from the boys downstairs that night o so long ago. We were all in shock that he didn’t rip it to shreds.

Up, down, up, down, up, down, rest, rest, rest.. ok!!!

Better yet… back, back, back.

What an adorable wiggly dog….

…who shits in the hallway. God iams makes that stuff smell. So he peed twice over Krutch (who loved him btw) and once on Shawn’s head. Other than that, we were accident free.

We just sort of chilled on campus that night. We watched Boondock and just sort of chilled. That movie never ever gets old.

Damn mirror….

Fell asleep at last around 4:30am… despite the fact that my goal time was midnight.

When the alarm went off on Saturday, it was 6:30 am. We almost laughed and went back to bed. Who goes to sleep at 4:30 then gets up two hours later? We do. Wanna know why? Cuz we’re psychotic and uber dedicated.

Our goal was to leave campus at 7am to be at the barn by 8:30. of course, I had to go mess that up by leaving my camera in the dorm. You KNOW I can’t live without my camera. I had it all packed and everything.

So we went to lot 6, then Bryce dropped me off behind Cromwell. I ran up to get my camera and he drove around the Loop once to show Jackie the rest of campus. The timing on that maneuver was perfect too. Just as I came out of the back lot, Bryce pulled up. Could not have been any better.

The ride up to the farm was uneventful, but relaxing. God I would hope so!!! At 7am. ugh.

We made it there just on time too. Perfection is to be expected.

After all, Bryce is the master of all things driven.

Note to self: North Jersey is MUCH colder than central (not that central exists).

So we got to the barn and Bryce parked in my usual spot, instead of making us walk all the way across the stableyard.

We walked into the barn and I waited for Jackie to put horse faces with names. You would not believe how well the girl did!!! It was so damn impressive.

She instantly got Thunder, and Specks, and of course Midnight. She mixed CG up with Ozzy, but as soon as Ozzy stuck his head over the door she got that too. She stared at Flight for a good long time before guessing her too. I think she was surprised to get that one right. She didn’t get Jag and Gem, but since when do I have photos of them anyway? Of course she got Laag Shot. Haha.

So Abner was beyond excited to be at the barn. We theorized (ooh, more theories!) that he figured, “OOH!!! Really big dogs! Let’s play.”

Mike got there and was a bit surprised to see me. but I said I was there to see the horses not to necessarily work, so I can’t really get in trouble for how distracted I was. Right?

Exactly.

The first thing we did was put Jag, Thunder, and Cumin Go out in the paddock. Thunder was being a show off. Abner running behind him got him all excited and his tail went straight up in the air. He pranced lightly at the end of the lead, moving sideways and blowing as another horse raced along the fenceline behind him.

He showed off a little bit in the paddock too.

Apparently, getting blocked in during his race didn’t take anything out of him. And Lady got second so that’s good. CG got the eight hole (again?!?!?) so Mike didn’t go with him. I guess there’s only so much of that you can take before it gets really old.

There were two trainers that day. Specks and Flight. Not in that order. I was dying to take Specks, but he was going a fast trip, since he’s qualifying, and Mike wanted to do it himself.

The horse in front was one of the stranger colored standardbreds that i have seen. he was such a light bay that he was almost dun colored. makes me wonder if he’s clipped.

Flight was doing a double header, so we piled into the car and drove out to the back track, right by Debbie’s paddock. We parked the car by the gate and walked up to watch the workouts.

Abner was intrigued and excited by all the activity, but he was happy to settle and just watch after a while.

Horowitz had a yearling out on the track. Our presence scared the hell out of him. in the end we would back off each time he came by. all the same, i thought he was going to go through the fence the first time around.

Check out Troy on the left.

A cool pose, but i wish i hadn’t cut mike’s butt off.

Flight looked off to me. Seems that her knees are still bugging her and it takes her a good long while to warm out of it. Mike says that she did great her second trip though.

Bryce watched Abner. They’re a great pair.

No really, how beautiful is that?

This way, Jackie was able to take pictures.

We went back to the barn for a little while, then drove back to the track to watch Specks train. He was much faster, but also much spookier.

Let us keep in mind that Jo no longer loves me.

“Hey, Jo, you around here somewhere?”
“yeah, why?”
“cuz I’m at the barn, come see me”
“I can’t this horse is really wild and…”
“but bryce is here”
“I’ll be there in two minutes.”

Slick.

So Jo got to meet Jackie, and vice versa.

Jackie got a bit of contact with the horses directly too. When it came time to start putting them away, I handed her the brushes and tied Shotzy up for her. And he got a nice pampering-style grooming. He was so glossy and gorgeous when she was done and I did his feet. Of course, I had to try a running braid in his mane, so she had to do that twice. Somehow, I don’t think she was complaining though.

Then, I volunteered the three of us to go get the horses from the paddock.

“Ok, you guys do that. I’ll watch,” Jackie declared. “They won’t follow me.”
“She will, I promise.”

So I took CG, Bryce took Thunder, and Jackie took Jag. And shock of all shocks, Jag followed. So we got over that dilemma. Now, if Censi wouldn’t go nuts in his paddock and cause problems, that would be great. We even had a grand old time trotting our way back up the last bit of the walk. Nothing like watching a line of horses run. Sadly, Bryce’s legs are about as long as Thunder’s so they can rate to match strides. *sigh*

After the barn we went to lunch, because every last one of us was absolutely starved. Way to go Mc D’s. yeah, it was a variation on tradition, but it’s cool. There was even a toast in there. Nothing beats toasting with friends.

Getting Ab into the place wasn’t an issue either. The lady behind the counter has raised NINE pups and when I said he had his collar she was cool with it. Seems that I was the person to ask permission all weekend. That’s cool with me. love starting conversations, and it’s not like anybody said no.

I was going to stop at my house to get riding clothes. Mike was ok with me riding Oz as long as I DMSOed his knees afterwards and Alex wants me to get back on Troy. He claims that he has mellowed out since he got back in his routine. You never get anywhere without some degree of trust, right?

That or I’ll die.

On top of all that, my saddle was insanely clean. I could have sworn Mike was cleaning it or using it. Seems that it just stayed in condition this week.

But of course, plans don’t always work out, and while we were in Mc D’s it started to rain.

We weren’t much deterred however, and just continued on our merry way.

First we stopped to get towels in Chester. As soon as Bryce got out of sight, we put Abner in the driver’s seat.

Our next stop was USET. Of course, the gate was locked.

But Mike had mentioned a back way further down the street so we figured we’d find that, use it, and see the barn (read mansion) anyway. We took all the first lefts from there down. Saw a lot of interesting properties, barns, gravel roads, horses, and houses, but no back way to USET.

We came back to try the gate. I punched in the code for USET and got an answering machine telling us office hours.

Then Bryce had a brilliant idea. We could park “here” (behind the old schoolhouse) and walk to USET. Great idea. Too bad I had it first!!!

So we parked, Bryce cried over how muddy his gorgeous car was, and we walked.

There was a fence to climb through/over/around and then a big grassy hill, leading to the back of the dressage arena. Can somebody explain to me how I’ve never approached the barn from that angle? So we left our tracks in the arena then went up to the barn.

“That’s not a barn. That’s a friggin’ mansion.”

The door wasn’t rigged with an alarm, and it creaked open when I barely leaned against it, so we walked in, to show Jackie just how big the place is.

“Guys…” Bryce’s voice echoed in the massive building. “They know we’re here. Check main lobby,” he read off a silent motion detector.

So we slipped back out. Thankfully it was only on passive watch.

We thought the car would be towed by the time we got back.

So we got back in the car, stopped for gas, and then went to the breeding farm. All three mares in the back field were huddled together.

I left my camera in the car, but Jackie got a few pictures of the babies and Highlighter.

By the time we were halfway to Bryce’s, it was pouring so hard that we could barely see out the windows.

Decided to stop in for a brief visit. Met his parents at last. Totally cool.

On the way back to the school we randomly ended up behind a horse trailer. We did the logical thing and stalked them. Right to a gas station, when Bryce ran out into the rain to find out where they were from.

“Now, if you were them, what would you do?”
“Jump out and hug him probably.”
“Ok, if you were SANE and you were them, what would you do?”
“Call the cops.”

Turns out they were going to Jackson.

That night, Bryce had rush stuff to do. Jackie and I killed time by looking at and printing pictures.

Then we went to Dubs for dinner. Met up with Pundy there. He actually wasn’t afraid of Ab.

Also ran into Rindosh.

“It wouldn’t be the first illegal animal you’ve had.”

“Don’t make me laugh and drink or I’ll puke on you.”
It’s always amazing to watch Pundy disappear.

Out front of the towers was a large, photogenic, group of people. One girl was twirling baton thingies. It was mesmerizing. Apparently, she knows how to do that while they’re on fire. Now THAT is something I need to see.

That night we were up even longer. We watched the Saint and napped. Then we watched American Beauty.

Ended up going to sleep around 7am.

And then we woke up at 10am b/c my phone was ringing in the other room. Turns out it was Jackie’s parents, calling to find out what time dinner was. Would we be there more towards seven or more towards noon? Honestly, we hadn’t thought about it. We discussed everything really quick and then decided that six would be perfect.

It didn’t take us long to decide to go out to breakfast. We agreed on IHOP and I was damn proud of myself for remembering where it was. I’ve only been there once before, and that was back on the day that we ended up stopping and getting Slasher.

It was crowded, but we got a seat pretty quickly. If only they had cleaned the table off first. O well, we got extra creamer off of it. Nothing like doing a whole line of creamer shots. Reason number 19 why I’m psycho.

The service overall sucked. I think our waitress was tired out. That’s what I’m going to tell myself. Otherwise she just had a nasty attitude on her. She gave us dirty looks when we reminded her about our drinks. We were halfway through our meals by the time she got to them. That and she got the orders mixed up. It wasn’t just us either. While we were waiting for food, Nick and Caryn walked in. We dragged them over to sit by us. Caryn’s chocolate chip pancakes took three tries to actually get chocolate chips in them. Ugh.

We went straight from IHOP to Bluestone. Started off by seeing the mares.

Turns out Swiss Queen’s leg is really badly messed up. It’s not a new injury. She has been at Bluestone for six years. Four foals and everything. Her old trainer injected her with a dirty needled and her skin literally rotted off. Then, to add insult to injury he bought her first foal. If she gets that leg infected one more time, she’s done for. They’ll have to put her down. Anybody want a horse? Cuz they’re not breeding her anymore.

All the foals appeared to be passed out in their stalls. I believe this is Missy’s filly.

College Park’s colt was willing to get in my face and come say hello. Taking pics of him should be easy.

Ella’s filly sleeps in her stall.

College Park and her colt chillin’ in their stall.

The mares were being brought into the barn to be fed.

Ella lowers her head to investigate the weirdo with the camera.

Bryce on the phone. Photogenic, even then.

Sprocket was in a loving-Dom mood. I was scratching him and he straight up jumped into my arms. So I had an angry but adorable Jack Russell in my arms for a good long while. He was downright MEAN to Abner. And Ab backed down. He was good friends with Bo though (ha, Bo Though). And sprocket backs off when Bo approaches. Lol. Too cute.

We also went up to see the yearlings. They were damn cute, as always. Even followed me in a neat little line around their paddock.

… As I shock myself on the electric fence.

The view at the other end of the farm.

A summary of this weekend at a glance.

Oreo and Aviator were mimicing us, I swear. Bryce was being all normal and talking to the colts, while I stretched over his shoulder to try and shoot a picture. Do you see a resemblence?

The colts were pretending to be wild mustangs.

It wasn’t long before we got cold though.

It was getting late anyway. So we headed back to the dorm, packed up our stuff (and by our I mean Jackie’s) and neatened up Bryce’s room.

Then we went back to Lot 6 (I hadn’t even bothered to take my stuff out of the car that time) and drove all the way back to PA. Jackie and Abner dozed on and off back to Lansdale.

By the end of the weekend, Bryce was ready to get his own dog. The car felt empty without Abner resting his head on Bryce’s shoulder and co-piloting. Not to mention the ear-licking.

So we parked in the driveway. Jackie’s parents were waiting when we came into the house.

First thing I did was compliment Abner. They seemed surprised, but I was serious. He was a joy to have all weekend. It was certainly an animal fix I could use on a daily basis.

So we had dinner at Jackie’s. She left the room to start loading pictures and blogging.

We had conversations with her parents. They were really cool. If we could do that much traveling and have those sorts of connections…

…god what I would give to do that.

An inspiration for sure.

I hope they really did like us.

It was a shame to leave, but we really did have to get going. Seems that we’ll have to go back though. Stuff to pick up, information to exchange, a house in Florida to investigate.

Apparently Abner cried for a really long time after we left. And then he slept for an entire day. God that puppy was amazing.

So we left and started our drive home. We had to get all turned around on route one of course. Does that surprise anyone? By now we’re experts at it. Haha. Someday… not today.

And then we ended up missing the turn to 31 south. North it is! but that turned out for the best.

We stopped at Starbucks.

And by stopped I mean we had to drive sneakily through a construction site.

So we spent a nice long time sipping coffee and being comfortable in gigantic overstuffed chairs. Some days it’s nice to be typical college students. There’s nothing like sitting back and reflecting on the events of a long awaited day, or weekend, or trip. Nothing ever goes quite as planned, but we’ve both decided we’re loving life right now and wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.

Before long, we were parked back in lot 6. and then Bryce turned around and asked, “Wanna procrastinate for a little longer?”
“Of course.”

So he threw the car back in drive and we spiraled our way all the way to the top of the parking deck. Bryce threw the car into neutral.

“Get in the driver’s seat.”
“WHAT!?!?!?! Why? I don’t drive stick…
“Well, you’re gonna learn.”

And I did. I drove the awesome car around in circles for like 20 minutes. I don’t think I’m coordinated enough to drive stick at anything more than 20mph, or third gear. *dies*

Then we crawled into my room so that I could write two papers before my 10am class.

Can we say no sleep again!?!?!

All week long, Bryce and I had been telling ourselves that we would be going out to see Christine at school. And that’s just what we did on Saturday.

I woke up at 5am and went in to poke at Bryce. Nothing. So I came back half an hour later. I poked at him, jabbed him, shook him, yelled at him, and smacked him. He slept through all of it, which shouldn’t surprise anyone since he’s the guy who slept through the fire drill. Excellent.

I was just about to hold his nose shut when he finally opened one eye and I was able to get his attention.

We decided we’d sleep for another 45 minutes or so before heading out for what was estimated to be a six hour drive. I had to go through the whole process again before he got up. I myself would have loved to crawl back into bed.

We left TCNJ at around 7am.

The first thing we did was get ourselves lost in Pennsylvania. We were still within 20 minutes of the school, and we couldn’t seem to get any further.

Apparently, the road number we had on the directions (276?) is the Penn Turnpike. Only, they don’t tell you that. Instead they have this giant sign with Penn Turnpike and an itty bitty one with 276 on it.

“Haha! Gotcha… again.”

It was the first out of many times that we would ask, “what is wrong with this state?” It’s not a state was our conclusion. It’s a commonwealth. But the other two commonwealths are cool… so what happened to PA?

There were several other times that made us ask “What is with this state?”

For example, there were random rumble strips in the middle of the road. They’re supposed to slow you down. Only, they’re just in the right lane, so everybody goes to the left lane and continues to speed. WTF?

We also loved when we were four hours from NJ and saw a sign that said, “Jersey Shore, next two exits.” Uhhh…? And I looked it up on the map, there are NO water sources in that town. No ponds, lakes, rivers, or streams.

They so want to be New Jersey.

Which is why they name all their towns after us.

In any case, we finally found the turnpike and got the ticket we needed to continue on our way.

There were of course interesting things to be seen. There was one town that we passed through and everything was just covered in smoke. For no apparent reason. It looked like layers of fog and morning mist, but it was all smoke. As soon as we left the town boundaries, the smoke was gone. Just like that.

The beauty of Pennsylvania, of course, is that you get to pump your own gas. Now when you’re a competent person like Bryce (not like me who would put diesel in her tiny little Honda accord) it’s a rewarding experience. The first time we stopped for gas was right before we looked for someplace to eat breakfast.

Breakfast was eaten at the most TCNJ appropriate place we could find. TBS would be proud. Taco Bell of course. It wasn’t even a real Taco Bell though. It was a travel store with a Taco Bell in the corner. That was good too though, since we figured we’d need a map and energy for Bryce anyway.

We sat in the parking lot and munched, toasting to future road trips, and rolling the windows up against the cold.

Eventually we got on 80. That was the longest stretch of 80 I have ever seen. Ever. 256.9 miles. And it was all cows, and barns, and farmscapes.

We were absolutely flying on our way up there. There was nobody in our way to stop us for the most part. We were averaging 100mph. The miles flew by.

At one point we even broke 120 racing this other guy, who was a rather decent driver. Even after he ducked between two eighteen wheelers (a maneuver we were not crazy enough to mimic) we were able to catch up.

It was just that sort of speed that got us into our first adventure. We were cruising at about 105mph when we blew past a cop on a hill. Needless to say, he clocked us and pulled onto the highway to come after us. Bryce muttered darkly, not looking forward to having the trip dampened by a speeding ticket.

We had been passing people as they moved out of our way for at least an hour now. Each person who let us by got a peace sign and we went past. And I guess one of these guys thought we were pretty awesome, because for no reason whatsoever this big black pick up truck got between us an this cop, shielding us from view and flashing his high beams at us to urge us on. Every time the cop went to switch lanes this guy was a step ahead of him.

Bryce didn’t need to be told twice. He flew off the next exit ramp and promptly made two lefts onto some dirt road in the middle of nowhere. Driving for several miles and then turning the engine off under some trees, hidden from the choppers. We waited a few minutes before turning back, and I think that was the last time we broke a hundred for the rest of the trip.

Now, along the way to our hiding place we had passed a pasture with some cute little horses in it and now we went back to photograph them.

Bryce pulled his car into the end of a long gravel driveway, on a steep angle, and we glanced at the group of Amish guys putting a roof on the house next door.

The horses were rather friendly and one even stuck his face right in my camera.

Bryce pulled out the map and asked the horses for directions:

And I took some photos:

There was even a cute foal that looked up as my camera clicked at him.

I got my fill quickly and we decided to move on. Bryce was going to back his car out, but I looked at the steep slippery hill he was on and told him to just pull down to the end and turn around.

In the process I spotted a giant field to our right with horses at the far end.

So I’m hanging out the sunroof taking pictures when all of a sudden Bryce says, “Oh, shit, Dom, get in the car!”
I turn around, slide into my seat and say, “What?”
He simply pointed.

Now, I would usually take that as a joke, but check out the looks of the property we were on:

So we were well on our way out of there. It wasn’t long before we had to stop for gas. And as if our day hadn’t been fun enough already, we broke the gas station!!! It was giving Bryce all sorts of attitude about taking his card. So we went inside. After doing a lot of math and button-pushing, the guy behind the register just looked at us and declared, “I have never seen anything like this. I don’t really understand how it happened.”

We’ll call it talent.

A few short hours later, we finally got to the Edinboro exit. It was in the middle of nowhere, but (just as C told us) there was a bit walmart on the corner.

As soon as we got in that town it was as if we were at home. We just went by gut feeling and knew exactly where we were going and what we were doing.

“I get a funny feeling it’ll be this way, around the turn, and on the left.”

And there it was.

We pulled into the school and stopped at the map at the entrance (why doesn’t TCNJ have one of those?) I couldn’t remember what building C said she lived in.

So we called her.

“Hey, ummm… we’re in your town, but we just got a flat tire so it may be a little while. We’re right at the Taco Bell.”
“Geez… the world just does NOT want you coming to see me today. I could walk there if you want.”
“No, it’s cool, but what building should we park near when we get there?”
“I live in the Lawrence Towers, so around there is good.”
“Ok, cool… shit… the tow truck guy is here… we’ll ask him for directions… I’ll see you in like an hour.”

So we pulled into the parking lot closest to the big tower looking buildings.

As soon as we walked into the first one I knew it wasn’t right. The numbers didn’t have zeros in them. So I asked some really hot guy if he knew a Christine Thompson. He pointed us towards the Lawrence Towers.

We of course went in the wrong one first. They’re divided by sex so it didn’t take us long to figure that out.

At last we got to the right building. And the hallways looked like a prison/hospital/asylum. Concrete bricks, surgeon green doors, and everything was closed up. So I looked for names. None. Did see a white board with a C-style drawing on it. I knocked. Nothing. And I wasn’t about to risk going into the wrong room.

So I went down the hall.

One door was open. I went to look in and see if anyone knew Christine. And there she was.

So she met Bryce and we met all her college buddies.

We all talked for a bit and watched the Di video. Then we went our separate ways.

“So what is there to do around here?”
“Nothing, I’m bored out of my skull.”
“How far is the lake” [eerie] “from here?”
“I dunno, half an hour?”
And then Bryce jumped in, “Why don’t we take a ferry to Canada?”

Everyone thought we just wanted to drink. If we wanted to drink, I’m sure we would have brought our own stuff. Besides, I was the only one in the group who was 19.

So we took the car and left.

First we stopped in town. It was like one of those tiny towns in the old movies, where everyone knows each other. The pizza place we stopped at was really cute and C and I had a good time catching up and teasing Bryce over a half pepper/onion half plain pizza.

And we drove up to Eerie. It was dark by the time we got there and we chose a pretty little Marina to park by. We went into The Sloppy Duck to get directions on where to get a ferry.

“Why do restaurants by marinas always have lights up?” Christine observed.

So we went inside to ask directions. There is, of course, no ferry from Eerie to Canada. So we took some time to think and use the bathroom.

I think Bryce was concerned when he hear laughter and saw flashes from the bathroom.

It was a funny sign, ok?

So we went to the parking lot to debate what to do next. We had driven all this way… why not just DRIVE to Canada?

So we asked a random couple if they knew how to get to Canada. It turned out they live in Ontario. Only in our lives…

So we got back on the road and headed east. We called almost everyone we knew to ask them if they could tell us the nearest way to Canada. Most of them weren’t the least bit surprised that we would call to ask that.

“Where are you now?” Dev asked.

We new we were in New York, but WHERE in New York.

It’s not overly helpful when the next road says, “Northeast -” Well, now that we know what part of the country we’re in, could we get a little more specific?

We finally got to Niagra, New York. There were a lot of bridges, and a giant, scary claw of death thing, but we didn’t really know what we were looking for.

True to Me and C Roadtrip Tradition we went to a Dunkin Donuts to ask for directions.

“You go to this light and make a left, then you go down the street until you see a fork, you make a left, then you go to the end of the street and make another left…”
“I swear, if you say, and then you’ll see a dunkin donuts, I’ll kill you…”

So we followed the directions, and before we knew it, we were on the bridge to Canada.

Unbelievable.

We are the only people who could go through Niagra Falls and MISS the waterfall…

The guy on the border didn’t like us right from the start.

“Where do you plan to go?”
“umm.. Canada?”
“where in Canada?”
*glances at nearest sign* “Toronto…”
“where are you going to park?”
“we haven’t exactly been here before… we don’t know”
“what do you plan on doing?”
“just wander the city and do some sight seeing”
“are you bringing any weapons into the country?”
That was probably not the right place to laugh. “of course not!”
“it’s not as funny as you think it is.”
“sorry.”
“how long do you plan on staying?”
“two, three, maybe four hours”
“when was the last time you were in Canada?”
“never,” bryce responded.
“two years ago,” c said
“o shit…” oops “ummm… I have BEEN here, but I don’t remember when it was!!! Maybe four years ago?” I suck at this game.

He checked our ID’s and let us through.

Bryce suddenly realized we’re connected to Mexico. Good job, genius. *wink*

So they made us stop and have the car searched. I think they thought we were smuggling drugs.
“do you have any valuables in the car?”
*glances at back seat* “well, we have an ipod, a laptop, a camera, a video camera, sub woofers…”
*raises eyebrows* “how about money?”
“ha, no we’re college kids. No money”

They were really thoroughly searching the car.

“would you like me to pop the hood too?”
“no not yet…”

And then they found Amanda’s thong.

Suddenly we were allowed back in the car.

“KILOMETERS PER HOUR! Shit… how do I do this?”

“How do I turn left in Canada?”

We were afraid we’d either do something stupid and not be allowed back in the country, or we’d lose the car.

So we parked by the biggest thing we could find. The CN Tower. Yeah… Cuz it was big and sparkly.

We made a series of phone calls.

“Hey mom, you’ll never guess who I’m with or where we are.”
“Who are you with?”
“Bryce and Christine.”
“Which Christine?”
“Christine Christine who lives 50 feet away…”
“Who goes to school six hours away?”
“Yeah”
“are you at her school?”
“no”
“are you at your school?”
“no”
“where are you?”
“Canada” *silence* “mom?”
“you left the country?”

Our plan, was to pee in Canada.

So we went to the nearest Denny’s and did just that. And took a picture of me and c in Canada.

The streetlights there hated us. We pushed the button and it just glared with “don’t walk”. So we finally did it anyway. And as soon as we got across the street it switched to “walk”. So the next time around, we waited. We got halfway across the street at a run, when it suddenly turned to “don’t walk”. WTF???

“Can we take a Canadian home?”

Suddenly, I spotted a beautifully lit water fountain in front of a nice looking casino. I desperately wanted pictures.

The only problem was that this fountain was in the middle of a road. It was a drop off for the casino. Limos and taxis zipped past us. the taxis in Canada don’t stop either. But we managed to dash to the middle.

We wanted a group shot in front of the fountain.

“I doubt anybody else is gonna be dumb enough to just walk past here,” Christine pointed out.

So bryce went and grabbed some innocent couple. They took the shot and then had us return the favor for them. They were totally kick ass.

Then we took one of ourselves, taking advantage of bryce’s long arms.

We stopped at a souvenir shop and bought three Canadian flags and a bag of Doritos.

Then we went back to the car and the US. The border patrol hated us.

“Did you buy anything on your visit?”
“yes, three Canadian flags and a bag of Doritos”
“how long were you in the country?”
“45 minutes”
“how long have you been in New York?”
“long enough to pass through”
“you’re telling me you drove all the way here from New Jersey to stay for 45 minutes?”
“yeah” bryce almost said, you’ve never been to college have you. Then he realized she was a border cop.

But they didn’t search the car on the way back. We could have bought ANYTHING. Killed ANYBODY. The drugs we could have smuggled.

Didn’t help that bryce peeled out as soon as we were back on US soil.

We figured we might as well add one more place to our list for the trip so we spent the next couple hours driving to Ohio, just to take a picture of the sign.

I slept most of the way there and back to C’s campus. Had myself wrapped all around the laptop. It was shockingly comfortable. Every computer nerd’s dream.

We stopped at the walmart then went back to the room to have mashed potatoes and gravy.

After that, we got 45 minutes of sleep before getting up to go back home. It was still dark when we left, and c got me out of bed by pouring water on my face.

The only reason we left so early was so that bryce could get back to give tours for the computer science department.

It didn’t take long for bryce to realize he couldn’t drive quite yet. So we pulled into a rest stop and napped for about an hour.

Afterwards, I stayed awake long enough to take pictures of the sunrise through the sun roof.

I slept most of the way home. And bryce was on so much NoDoz and caffeine that it wasn’t even funny.

It was a relief to see the welcome to new jersey sign and to know where we were.

Well, I knew where we were. Bryce had to pee so badly he was delirious. I nearly had to grab the wheel to get him to turn the right way on 31. we were right in front of the AXP house so he should have known where we were, but a few seconds later he pulled over and tried to turn around, arguing that we were going the wrong way and that nothing looked familiar. Then I pointed out the robbin’s pharmacy. He was so confused!!!

And since it was open house day, there were lines getting into the school. I had a great time turning up the subs and watching him squirm. He didn’t think it was as funny as I did.

I yelled for tammy (apparently waking her and matt) and after getting back to the dorm and blurting out the story I collapsed in bed and went to sleep.