DriveAndAHalf.com

This is the second day in a row that a short trip I have gone on has ended with a total breaking of the laws of physics. I don’t mean defying the laws of physics. I mean completely bending them over a fence and…you know. Details to come when I’m done shipping this “filly” for the mafia. You only think I’m kidding. I’ll be sure to include pictures. Maybe Bryce, Jo, and C can fill you guys in in the mean time? At least one of them was present both times. I did get to drive for one of them though.

Where the idea for this site originated. Somewhere along our six hour drive, Bryce and I looked at each other and declared:
“This is a drive and a half…”
“DOT COM!!!”

It was all down hill from there.

All week long, Bryce and I had been telling ourselves that we would be going out to see Christine at school. And that’s just what we did on Saturday.

I woke up at 5am and went in to poke at Bryce. Nothing. So I came back half an hour later. I poked at him, jabbed him, shook him, yelled at him, and smacked him. He slept through all of it, which shouldn’t surprise anyone since he’s the guy who slept through the fire drill. Excellent.

I was just about to hold his nose shut when he finally opened one eye and I was able to get his attention.

We decided we’d sleep for another 45 minutes or so before heading out for what was estimated to be a six hour drive. I had to go through the whole process again before he got up. I myself would have loved to crawl back into bed.

We left TCNJ at around 7am.

The first thing we did was get ourselves lost in Pennsylvania. We were still within 20 minutes of the school, and we couldn’t seem to get any further.

Apparently, the road number we had on the directions (276?) is the Penn Turnpike. Only, they don’t tell you that. Instead they have this giant sign with Penn Turnpike and an itty bitty one with 276 on it.

“Haha! Gotcha… again.”

It was the first out of many times that we would ask, “what is wrong with this state?” It’s not a state was our conclusion. It’s a commonwealth. But the other two commonwealths are cool… so what happened to PA?

There were several other times that made us ask “What is with this state?”

For example, there were random rumble strips in the middle of the road. They’re supposed to slow you down. Only, they’re just in the right lane, so everybody goes to the left lane and continues to speed. WTF?

We also loved when we were four hours from NJ and saw a sign that said, “Jersey Shore, next two exits.” Uhhh…? And I looked it up on the map, there are NO water sources in that town. No ponds, lakes, rivers, or streams.

They so want to be New Jersey.

Which is why they name all their towns after us.

In any case, we finally found the turnpike and got the ticket we needed to continue on our way.

There were of course interesting things to be seen. There was one town that we passed through and everything was just covered in smoke. For no apparent reason. It looked like layers of fog and morning mist, but it was all smoke. As soon as we left the town boundaries, the smoke was gone. Just like that.

The beauty of Pennsylvania, of course, is that you get to pump your own gas. Now when you’re a competent person like Bryce (not like me who would put diesel in her tiny little Honda accord) it’s a rewarding experience. The first time we stopped for gas was right before we looked for someplace to eat breakfast.

Breakfast was eaten at the most TCNJ appropriate place we could find. TBS would be proud. Taco Bell of course. It wasn’t even a real Taco Bell though. It was a travel store with a Taco Bell in the corner. That was good too though, since we figured we’d need a map and energy for Bryce anyway.

We sat in the parking lot and munched, toasting to future road trips, and rolling the windows up against the cold.

Eventually we got on 80. That was the longest stretch of 80 I have ever seen. Ever. 256.9 miles. And it was all cows, and barns, and farmscapes.

We were absolutely flying on our way up there. There was nobody in our way to stop us for the most part. We were averaging 100mph. The miles flew by.

At one point we even broke 120 racing this other guy, who was a rather decent driver. Even after he ducked between two eighteen wheelers (a maneuver we were not crazy enough to mimic) we were able to catch up.

It was just that sort of speed that got us into our first adventure. We were cruising at about 105mph when we blew past a cop on a hill. Needless to say, he clocked us and pulled onto the highway to come after us. Bryce muttered darkly, not looking forward to having the trip dampened by a speeding ticket.

We had been passing people as they moved out of our way for at least an hour now. Each person who let us by got a peace sign and we went past. And I guess one of these guys thought we were pretty awesome, because for no reason whatsoever this big black pick up truck got between us an this cop, shielding us from view and flashing his high beams at us to urge us on. Every time the cop went to switch lanes this guy was a step ahead of him.

Bryce didn’t need to be told twice. He flew off the next exit ramp and promptly made two lefts onto some dirt road in the middle of nowhere. Driving for several miles and then turning the engine off under some trees, hidden from the choppers. We waited a few minutes before turning back, and I think that was the last time we broke a hundred for the rest of the trip.

Now, along the way to our hiding place we had passed a pasture with some cute little horses in it and now we went back to photograph them.

Bryce pulled his car into the end of a long gravel driveway, on a steep angle, and we glanced at the group of Amish guys putting a roof on the house next door.

The horses were rather friendly and one even stuck his face right in my camera.

Bryce pulled out the map and asked the horses for directions:

And I took some photos:

There was even a cute foal that looked up as my camera clicked at him.

I got my fill quickly and we decided to move on. Bryce was going to back his car out, but I looked at the steep slippery hill he was on and told him to just pull down to the end and turn around.

In the process I spotted a giant field to our right with horses at the far end.

So I’m hanging out the sunroof taking pictures when all of a sudden Bryce says, “Oh, shit, Dom, get in the car!”
I turn around, slide into my seat and say, “What?”
He simply pointed.

Now, I would usually take that as a joke, but check out the looks of the property we were on:

So we were well on our way out of there. It wasn’t long before we had to stop for gas. And as if our day hadn’t been fun enough already, we broke the gas station!!! It was giving Bryce all sorts of attitude about taking his card. So we went inside. After doing a lot of math and button-pushing, the guy behind the register just looked at us and declared, “I have never seen anything like this. I don’t really understand how it happened.”

We’ll call it talent.

A few short hours later, we finally got to the Edinboro exit. It was in the middle of nowhere, but (just as C told us) there was a bit walmart on the corner.

As soon as we got in that town it was as if we were at home. We just went by gut feeling and knew exactly where we were going and what we were doing.

“I get a funny feeling it’ll be this way, around the turn, and on the left.”

And there it was.

We pulled into the school and stopped at the map at the entrance (why doesn’t TCNJ have one of those?) I couldn’t remember what building C said she lived in.

So we called her.

“Hey, ummm… we’re in your town, but we just got a flat tire so it may be a little while. We’re right at the Taco Bell.”
“Geez… the world just does NOT want you coming to see me today. I could walk there if you want.”
“No, it’s cool, but what building should we park near when we get there?”
“I live in the Lawrence Towers, so around there is good.”
“Ok, cool… shit… the tow truck guy is here… we’ll ask him for directions… I’ll see you in like an hour.”

So we pulled into the parking lot closest to the big tower looking buildings.

As soon as we walked into the first one I knew it wasn’t right. The numbers didn’t have zeros in them. So I asked some really hot guy if he knew a Christine Thompson. He pointed us towards the Lawrence Towers.

We of course went in the wrong one first. They’re divided by sex so it didn’t take us long to figure that out.

At last we got to the right building. And the hallways looked like a prison/hospital/asylum. Concrete bricks, surgeon green doors, and everything was closed up. So I looked for names. None. Did see a white board with a C-style drawing on it. I knocked. Nothing. And I wasn’t about to risk going into the wrong room.

So I went down the hall.

One door was open. I went to look in and see if anyone knew Christine. And there she was.

So she met Bryce and we met all her college buddies.

We all talked for a bit and watched the Di video. Then we went our separate ways.

“So what is there to do around here?”
“Nothing, I’m bored out of my skull.”
“How far is the lake” [eerie] “from here?”
“I dunno, half an hour?”
And then Bryce jumped in, “Why don’t we take a ferry to Canada?”

Everyone thought we just wanted to drink. If we wanted to drink, I’m sure we would have brought our own stuff. Besides, I was the only one in the group who was 19.

So we took the car and left.

First we stopped in town. It was like one of those tiny towns in the old movies, where everyone knows each other. The pizza place we stopped at was really cute and C and I had a good time catching up and teasing Bryce over a half pepper/onion half plain pizza.

And we drove up to Eerie. It was dark by the time we got there and we chose a pretty little Marina to park by. We went into The Sloppy Duck to get directions on where to get a ferry.

“Why do restaurants by marinas always have lights up?” Christine observed.

So we went inside to ask directions. There is, of course, no ferry from Eerie to Canada. So we took some time to think and use the bathroom.

I think Bryce was concerned when he hear laughter and saw flashes from the bathroom.

It was a funny sign, ok?

So we went to the parking lot to debate what to do next. We had driven all this way… why not just DRIVE to Canada?

So we asked a random couple if they knew how to get to Canada. It turned out they live in Ontario. Only in our lives…

So we got back on the road and headed east. We called almost everyone we knew to ask them if they could tell us the nearest way to Canada. Most of them weren’t the least bit surprised that we would call to ask that.

“Where are you now?” Dev asked.

We new we were in New York, but WHERE in New York.

It’s not overly helpful when the next road says, “Northeast -” Well, now that we know what part of the country we’re in, could we get a little more specific?

We finally got to Niagra, New York. There were a lot of bridges, and a giant, scary claw of death thing, but we didn’t really know what we were looking for.

True to Me and C Roadtrip Tradition we went to a Dunkin Donuts to ask for directions.

“You go to this light and make a left, then you go down the street until you see a fork, you make a left, then you go to the end of the street and make another left…”
“I swear, if you say, and then you’ll see a dunkin donuts, I’ll kill you…”

So we followed the directions, and before we knew it, we were on the bridge to Canada.

Unbelievable.

We are the only people who could go through Niagra Falls and MISS the waterfall…

The guy on the border didn’t like us right from the start.

“Where do you plan to go?”
“umm.. Canada?”
“where in Canada?”
*glances at nearest sign* “Toronto…”
“where are you going to park?”
“we haven’t exactly been here before… we don’t know”
“what do you plan on doing?”
“just wander the city and do some sight seeing”
“are you bringing any weapons into the country?”
That was probably not the right place to laugh. “of course not!”
“it’s not as funny as you think it is.”
“sorry.”
“how long do you plan on staying?”
“two, three, maybe four hours”
“when was the last time you were in Canada?”
“never,” bryce responded.
“two years ago,” c said
“o shit…” oops “ummm… I have BEEN here, but I don’t remember when it was!!! Maybe four years ago?” I suck at this game.

He checked our ID’s and let us through.

Bryce suddenly realized we’re connected to Mexico. Good job, genius. *wink*

So they made us stop and have the car searched. I think they thought we were smuggling drugs.
“do you have any valuables in the car?”
*glances at back seat* “well, we have an ipod, a laptop, a camera, a video camera, sub woofers…”
*raises eyebrows* “how about money?”
“ha, no we’re college kids. No money”

They were really thoroughly searching the car.

“would you like me to pop the hood too?”
“no not yet…”

And then they found Amanda’s thong.

Suddenly we were allowed back in the car.

“KILOMETERS PER HOUR! Shit… how do I do this?”

“How do I turn left in Canada?”

We were afraid we’d either do something stupid and not be allowed back in the country, or we’d lose the car.

So we parked by the biggest thing we could find. The CN Tower. Yeah… Cuz it was big and sparkly.

We made a series of phone calls.

“Hey mom, you’ll never guess who I’m with or where we are.”
“Who are you with?”
“Bryce and Christine.”
“Which Christine?”
“Christine Christine who lives 50 feet away…”
“Who goes to school six hours away?”
“Yeah”
“are you at her school?”
“no”
“are you at your school?”
“no”
“where are you?”
“Canada” *silence* “mom?”
“you left the country?”

Our plan, was to pee in Canada.

So we went to the nearest Denny’s and did just that. And took a picture of me and c in Canada.

The streetlights there hated us. We pushed the button and it just glared with “don’t walk”. So we finally did it anyway. And as soon as we got across the street it switched to “walk”. So the next time around, we waited. We got halfway across the street at a run, when it suddenly turned to “don’t walk”. WTF???

“Can we take a Canadian home?”

Suddenly, I spotted a beautifully lit water fountain in front of a nice looking casino. I desperately wanted pictures.

The only problem was that this fountain was in the middle of a road. It was a drop off for the casino. Limos and taxis zipped past us. the taxis in Canada don’t stop either. But we managed to dash to the middle.

We wanted a group shot in front of the fountain.

“I doubt anybody else is gonna be dumb enough to just walk past here,” Christine pointed out.

So bryce went and grabbed some innocent couple. They took the shot and then had us return the favor for them. They were totally kick ass.

Then we took one of ourselves, taking advantage of bryce’s long arms.

We stopped at a souvenir shop and bought three Canadian flags and a bag of Doritos.

Then we went back to the car and the US. The border patrol hated us.

“Did you buy anything on your visit?”
“yes, three Canadian flags and a bag of Doritos”
“how long were you in the country?”
“45 minutes”
“how long have you been in New York?”
“long enough to pass through”
“you’re telling me you drove all the way here from New Jersey to stay for 45 minutes?”
“yeah” bryce almost said, you’ve never been to college have you. Then he realized she was a border cop.

But they didn’t search the car on the way back. We could have bought ANYTHING. Killed ANYBODY. The drugs we could have smuggled.

Didn’t help that bryce peeled out as soon as we were back on US soil.

We figured we might as well add one more place to our list for the trip so we spent the next couple hours driving to Ohio, just to take a picture of the sign.

I slept most of the way there and back to C’s campus. Had myself wrapped all around the laptop. It was shockingly comfortable. Every computer nerd’s dream.

We stopped at the walmart then went back to the room to have mashed potatoes and gravy.

After that, we got 45 minutes of sleep before getting up to go back home. It was still dark when we left, and c got me out of bed by pouring water on my face.

The only reason we left so early was so that bryce could get back to give tours for the computer science department.

It didn’t take long for bryce to realize he couldn’t drive quite yet. So we pulled into a rest stop and napped for about an hour.

Afterwards, I stayed awake long enough to take pictures of the sunrise through the sun roof.

I slept most of the way home. And bryce was on so much NoDoz and caffeine that it wasn’t even funny.

It was a relief to see the welcome to new jersey sign and to know where we were.

Well, I knew where we were. Bryce had to pee so badly he was delirious. I nearly had to grab the wheel to get him to turn the right way on 31. we were right in front of the AXP house so he should have known where we were, but a few seconds later he pulled over and tried to turn around, arguing that we were going the wrong way and that nothing looked familiar. Then I pointed out the robbin’s pharmacy. He was so confused!!!

And since it was open house day, there were lines getting into the school. I had a great time turning up the subs and watching him squirm. He didn’t think it was as funny as I did.

I yelled for tammy (apparently waking her and matt) and after getting back to the dorm and blurting out the story I collapsed in bed and went to sleep.

So I’m Bryce, and I absolutely love Road Trips. I do seem to have a consistent partner in crime, Dom, and you’ll be seeing one of her posts soon I’m sure. Now along with this is Christine, and she and Dom go on fun road trips also, and sometimes she’s even along for road trips while I’m there, and they’re all the more fun because of it. So this is the driving blog, I hope you enjoy reading about the road trips as much as we enjoy taking them.!